Yep, that’s where the change got painful, right between those two sea shells. It all started with the thought I’ve been telling myself, for 12 years. “I hate that cornflower blue bathroom! One day, it’s comin’ down!” It was a truth only known to me, as others didn’t seem to be bothered by it. “I like it. It’s retro,” said every friend I have. “It’s old but it’s in perfect condition. Why would you change it?” But it was my truth, and I held it dearly, so a change was a ‘comin’. And that change began in the twilight of last night.
I went into the project with an optimism only a DIYer can have. Do you know it? Start with this wall tonight, then the other tomorrow. Then move on to the fun stuff…paint, fixtures, stuff! Haha, right! Sometimes change is kinda hard (that’s what I was expecting, kinda hard, like ripping off a bandage) and sometimes it’s WOAH!!!!-What-did-I-get-myself-in-to-hard!!
Do you see this?
Yep, that’s TWO INCHES of concrete followed by a wire mesh backer! Let the pain of that set in. Let regret, remorse and other “r” words flood your mind. Maybe the cornflower blue wasn’t so bad after all, I think to myself in a panic. Why didn’t I just have the tiles sprayed white? I asked myself. Am I even strong enough to continue this? I ask. But once one is in the throws of it, what can one do? After I searched the internet for how to remove this stuff, and after I whined to my boyfriend a little bit (okay, a lot!), I did what most people do and that is, get on with the change process.
And that got me to thinking again about the concept of change. All change is a process, and painful, even if you know the outcome will be good! Think about the change process of a new, higher paying job. A move to your ideal neighborhood. Turning in your Dodge Charger for a family minivan to accommodate your ever-expanding beautiful family (that one’s for my friend Ryan who cried at this change!). Some change we look forward to and some we don’t, but I believe all change is on the mental pain spectrum. Sometimes it even mimics the grief process. There’s denial and disbelief. There’s anger. There’s bargaining. There’s depression. And finally, acceptance. For some things, it’s a bandage, for others, it’s a tile wall followed by two layers of cement and a wire backing. I think you know which one this is. 🙂
What changes have been the hardest or easiest for you?