Today I’d like to talk about some serious paradoxes of modern society. Could this explain in part why we are so ill? And why is self-harm occurring at such alarming rates?
- Society tells us to love our bodies but then offers lipo and tummy tucks to fix those problem areas.
- Society tells us to seek materialism, buy more things, but then condemns us for not finding happiness in it.
- Society tells us we’re beautiful but then bombards us with very unnatural makeup products.
- Society tells us to grow old gracefully but then pushes a multi-billion dollar anti-aging campaign on us.
- Society tells us effort is the most important thing but then drapes young adults with cords at graduation and has a ceremony to honor outcome.
- Society tells us to love ourselves and take time for self-care but then pushes little white or blue pills at us to remedy our sadness, or loneliness or brokenness.
- Society wants us to be connected to our families, our neighbors, our friends but then values Facebook and Instagram likes more than phone calls and hugs.
{{Society tells us we are not good enough……and we listen.}}
It seems absurd to the majority of the population that harming oneself would ever feel better than not harming oneself. In fact, self-harm behaviors contradict what appears to be reasonable, logical and acceptable ways of self care, even in a world of quick fixes. But I’ve worked with enough self-harmers to tell you definitively, self-harmers are seeing all of those societal expectations and more. And they are condemning themselves for not measuring up.
This condemning takes the form of self-loathing, guilt, anxiety, anger, and being overwhelmed and its so unbearable to be stuck in this emotional storm that they find a way to shelter themselves. Self-preservation though self-mutilation of the body’s soft tissue. The act offers a temporary but effective quick fix. The emotional pain goes away, instantly, for the moment. Quick fix. Society likes that, no doubt, except this one is taboo, shameful, and “bad”.
So what do we do? How do we change? First understand quick fix and society’s paradoxes. Then work towards understanding why self-harm happens, and why it happens again.
Peace be with you my friends.
Diamond Counseling 